Friday, February 03, 2006

Dreams. What the hell are they all about? Why must they remind us of things that just may never be, damn that subconscious bullshit. Yet, I suppose they provide the mental respite from a world that does not always turn as we would prefer. Last night's dreams certainly were like this. Ultimately about going up to Williams, except it was New Year's, no clue why. No one was there, and then turned into a practice for my concert at McCaskey in May. Totally strange, and I was all ready, except it was an orchestral one, not a vocal one. Saw a few friends in my dream that I have not spoken to in years. That was a sort of cool.

Thinking a lot lately. Probably will do more today, as I have my community service, so how much mental stimulus can that really provide? Then just need to get a new modem as Jonah is moved out as of today, and gym time of course. Very upset over something said to me yesterday at work. And I quote, "Philip, you are a bitter jaded person, who is very unhappy, and it will only get worse as you get older. I don't say this to be mean, but because I care..." Mark can kiss my ass. Oh yeah, and he warned of the suicide rate for lawyers asking hadn't I learned my lesson already? Talk about low blows in trying to keep me from doing something. Just for that, I wouldn't give up my law school hopes for anything. Besides, I need this to help put some perspective in my life.

Also need to think about how i want to word a few things for the coming weeks. At least I know that makes sense to me and you, haha. After all, specificity of language is everything. You are too thorough to let even the smallest loophole slip. But yeah I have an idea or two that need amended/added.

Carl was a real bitch yesterday. He cares, but still, why must people point out the obvious to me. It seems like they say I'm rather intelligent and thoughtful, but feel a need to beat a dead horse. I will do as I please, and keep my friendships/relationships/whatever as I must, as I like. He doesn't even know what's going on now, just knowing I speak to you grates his cheese. Jealous bitch. He says I owe you nothing. I know that. And that I met you at a bad time, and so feel I am in obligation. Well, any I felt is nulled anyhow. Can you void the heart? Time will tell.
Well, I gotta get ready for work, I'll finish this later for you, my nonaudience, ie me...


Post a Comment

<< Home