Today at the Lancaster Historical Society I spent five hours reading at, looking at pictures of, and copying news about the Lancaster Airport! When I went in, they told me I'd be scanning pictures for a while, for documentation. Well, the first one brought on dejavu, but it was the second one which helped me realize what I was seeing, the view of the airstrip at Lancaster Airport. Only this was a picture from many years ago. Then I started scanning pictures even farther back of old pilots, and people celebrating flying. It was certainly an odd thing for me to see, after spending so much time there these past few years.
The next part of my time there was spent reading articles all about the coming of the original Lancaster Airport, the founders of it, and how one guy helped it grow, watched it blossom and flew till he was well into his late 80's. He was in all sorts of articles in the Lancaster papers, as well as more national ones. I wonder if my grandparents may have known him, he seemed pretty well known. By 80 he flew 15,000 hours I think or maybe it was another zero, well it was a whole hell of a lot. Also read articles about death by rookie pilots, air shows, and how Lancaster planned to refurbish our current airport in the 1970's. So, as it stands, I know a whole hell of a lot about the history of the airport in Lancaster.
Oh yeah, also saw a picture from 1929 of Armstrong Inc, F&M, and my house no less! I looked and there it was, surrounded by nothing at all at the time. God I miss that place. Told Jonah about it, and he said, had we not moved he'd still be at home, haha. It was just so much bigger and better than an apartment. Oh well, life is too short to be remiss now.
Let's see what else is up...Not a whole hell of a lot. Jonah's gone for good. Got a new modem and router for the computer. Trying to think more cogently on what has occured over the past month. It's like a fucking roller coaster ride that wont' end. Still figuring out how I got here, and why I care one way or the other. I guess my fear of being alone doesn't help, but it does not explain it in actuality. And as for owing anything, I suppose that is all for naught now. Yet, is it? I know you would say yes, but as a man who prides himself on integrity and virtues to be, I cannot but feel obligated, by no apparent pressure from anyone. Merely, as gratitude, that I feel toward all my friends. If I could do for my Columbia friends et al, for those bad years, I would, I will...
I guess that brings up another thing. Do I renew my promise to pay for all of Stephan's medical school? I've always said, money means nothing and I realize the truth in that more and more. Also what do I do about this 300 dollars? I have fought myself over this since January. Money, the true root of all evil. No, not really. But yes, I can take the high road or the low road on these issues. And you can accept either. Perhaps, I shall leave it up to you... Strange, no? Oh the joys of not making declarative sentences. See, I can finally write this all, and not have someone saying, "just say what you mean already and stop being so vague!", hahah. Sorry for that mate, haha. Yay, I can also apologize without it actually being heard. A sounding board, I was right.
So yeah, I think I could leave it up to you, at least for now. By the time you see this, which is, a quarter to never, I will have changed my mind. Better hurry and act now, haha. Cool, I'm funny when I have no audience either!!!
Not sure what else I'm thinking. Well not true. I do not think I can compete anymore. I gave it my all. Either you see what is there, or you do not. It's up to you. Oh and if I don't get into law school(not sure why I'm putting this after the previous sentence), I think either ministry or running away are in order. NOt like a kid runs away, but simply go away, from everyone. Take time to myself to figure out me. After all, if I don't get into law school, and turn 25 in one year, I'm royally screwed! Yet, not really. I am if nothing else, one who bounces back, like springy! Everytime something has gone wrong or seemed to be the end, my world was changed for the better. God will provide, He always has, and I know He will again. My prayers were answered, tenfold. Maybe that's why I hold on...maybe.
The next part of my time there was spent reading articles all about the coming of the original Lancaster Airport, the founders of it, and how one guy helped it grow, watched it blossom and flew till he was well into his late 80's. He was in all sorts of articles in the Lancaster papers, as well as more national ones. I wonder if my grandparents may have known him, he seemed pretty well known. By 80 he flew 15,000 hours I think or maybe it was another zero, well it was a whole hell of a lot. Also read articles about death by rookie pilots, air shows, and how Lancaster planned to refurbish our current airport in the 1970's. So, as it stands, I know a whole hell of a lot about the history of the airport in Lancaster.
Oh yeah, also saw a picture from 1929 of Armstrong Inc, F&M, and my house no less! I looked and there it was, surrounded by nothing at all at the time. God I miss that place. Told Jonah about it, and he said, had we not moved he'd still be at home, haha. It was just so much bigger and better than an apartment. Oh well, life is too short to be remiss now.
Let's see what else is up...Not a whole hell of a lot. Jonah's gone for good. Got a new modem and router for the computer. Trying to think more cogently on what has occured over the past month. It's like a fucking roller coaster ride that wont' end. Still figuring out how I got here, and why I care one way or the other. I guess my fear of being alone doesn't help, but it does not explain it in actuality. And as for owing anything, I suppose that is all for naught now. Yet, is it? I know you would say yes, but as a man who prides himself on integrity and virtues to be, I cannot but feel obligated, by no apparent pressure from anyone. Merely, as gratitude, that I feel toward all my friends. If I could do for my Columbia friends et al, for those bad years, I would, I will...
I guess that brings up another thing. Do I renew my promise to pay for all of Stephan's medical school? I've always said, money means nothing and I realize the truth in that more and more. Also what do I do about this 300 dollars? I have fought myself over this since January. Money, the true root of all evil. No, not really. But yes, I can take the high road or the low road on these issues. And you can accept either. Perhaps, I shall leave it up to you... Strange, no? Oh the joys of not making declarative sentences. See, I can finally write this all, and not have someone saying, "just say what you mean already and stop being so vague!", hahah. Sorry for that mate, haha. Yay, I can also apologize without it actually being heard. A sounding board, I was right.
So yeah, I think I could leave it up to you, at least for now. By the time you see this, which is, a quarter to never, I will have changed my mind. Better hurry and act now, haha. Cool, I'm funny when I have no audience either!!!
Not sure what else I'm thinking. Well not true. I do not think I can compete anymore. I gave it my all. Either you see what is there, or you do not. It's up to you. Oh and if I don't get into law school(not sure why I'm putting this after the previous sentence), I think either ministry or running away are in order. NOt like a kid runs away, but simply go away, from everyone. Take time to myself to figure out me. After all, if I don't get into law school, and turn 25 in one year, I'm royally screwed! Yet, not really. I am if nothing else, one who bounces back, like springy! Everytime something has gone wrong or seemed to be the end, my world was changed for the better. God will provide, He always has, and I know He will again. My prayers were answered, tenfold. Maybe that's why I hold on...maybe.
posted by Benoit LeBleu at 5:04:00 PM
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