Sunday, February 12, 2006

I am the poster child for nostalgia. Today could not have started off any worse or better than it did. All things come equally in our lives. The snow was beautiful in its white simplicity as I looked out my window. Church was cancelled, but I think God understood. Then I turned on the computer to see that Michelle Kwan had taken herself out of the Olympics. I know she was the most upset, but I think I could fall in a close second. This was for me, somehow, an end of an era. This is because she is the last figure skater that is still around since I first time fell in love with the sport, and because she represents my past happiness in youth.
There was such grace and class in her leaving, and it is extremely admirable. Sometimes you just have to know when to say goodbye. But, as Nick pointed out after giving condolences over her departure (he knew how much it meant, seeing as he mocked me when she lost four years ago), sometimes isn't it better to still fight on? She knew what she was doing one would hope, as long as she does not regret her decision. Skating will never be the same for me. Yet, now I look to Sasha Cohen to take Kwan's place, though could anyone ever really take it? She will make us all proud, and I hope she wins.
Law school due dates are looming. Time to finish them up and send them out. To go through with this is to give my all. It's now or never. Everyone says that if I do not get in, there is always next year. Not for me. I never repeat what has been a failure for me. It would just be too hard. It is one thing to continue on, and see whatever to the end. But once ended, you can never go back, can you? I am sure some law school will take me! Through all my greatest trials, somehow, I end up alright. They will see I am a strong candidate, shaky past and all. All I need do is help them see past the veneer of crazy, the shades of poor reports, an interesting past, to what is truly underneath, and they will realize what lay beyond the surface.
I guess I'm not giving up then. Kwan did, because she knew her time is past, but she has her dignity. And I still have mine. Maybe this site is a misnomer, perhaps twilight is not quite at its zenith yet...


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