Sunday, March 19, 2006

Actions speak louder than words. Words speak volumes of who we are, and a look can make the whole world stop for one second. Why is it that some people just refuse to see what is in front of their faces. I mean I am the perfect example. I know when people are not interested and yet I pursue them for what? Certainly not to stroke my ego, and I do have a penchant for all things unattainable. And the few who ever came along worthwhile I pushed away as fast as possible.
You, third person, cannot go through life like this. Everyone has these ideals and hopes and dreams. But when you fail to see the reality and only live for that ideal, you miss everything. However, I think I am getting jaded in that everyone around me fucking has someone. Eric has a boyfriend, Kyle a boyfriend, hell even the Five other than Po are all dating or on their way down the isle. Its like I'm surrounded by fucking relationships and I'm in limbo. The one person I look to for solace, well, whatever... Why bring that up at this point. I have one last chance. God, some people will do anything to inflate their ego, and if I find out that's the case, oh god, I'll either go crazy or write the best novel of my life, hahahah.
I'm actually not as mad or upset over that as I should be. Is that a good sign, or a bad sign? Maybe I am maturing, or actually fucking care more about your wellbeing than my sex life. If you need a pal, I'll be that. But remember, sometimes the best friends know when to give and meet their friends half way! Four years is a lot to throw away for someone who may or may not be the one for you... But, that's mean to say, as always may it work, but if not, as you put it
"Someone new always comes along. Maybe not better, but someone..."


Blogger Anostica said...

I see what you mean..sometimes pursuing others even when they may not show interest is because we do it for the challenge...

interesting post..

9:56 PM  

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