Monday, August 28, 2006

"Nothing is ever as it seems..."

Everything is a farce. Life throws curves at you faster than you can bat away the troubles. But we deal. I no longer will say I am tired of dealing, because if you wish to succeed that is what you must do. You deal. The game, oh lord, you took the game to a whole new level this weekend. And you do not even see it. So, I will tell you, or tell myself, either way it does not matter. I would take being called the worst names, have the cruelest insults thrown at me, all but say goodbye, if I could take back hearing that you do not think I am capabale of loving someone, most of all you. The reason is because I can do everything under the sun till the end of time, and try to show you, and live it like I mean it every second, but unless you can see it, and unless you want to realize it, you will never believe it is true. But I am never one to give up and I will not now. Whatever happens, and whatever comes, I will try to love. It is not an easy thing to love one like you, and Lord knows, its a Hell of a lot harder to love someone like me.

As for school, I guess I was a bit to prematurely happy about events and new friends. It is not that I do not have friends, but that I am stupidly the one to grow attached too easily. I believe I have worn my welcome thin already, so like a true adult, I will be a good friend, but hold back. Be more reserved, because honestly, I need friends right now who are nearby. The addendum is this, if it takes more time to worry about if I have friends or not, than time to be with them and enjoy it, then I do not care and will not waste my time. That goes for pretty much everything in my life now.

I have a goal. I know what it is, and I have no clue how to make it happen. Sometimes that is for the best. It keeps one on their toes. You got me in checkmate. For the first time in years, I guess the game begins all over. What shall we have it? Best of three...hahaha, only time will tell.


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