Sunday, September 10, 2006

"Never Piss off a Mayan..."

We are a proud race, granted we did die out because we just got lazy, but that is neither here nor there. As a culture the Maya were honest, loyal, and just, at least to our allies. To our enemies, we served quick and painful reprieve. God help those who hurt the double spirited ones, eg, the flaming homos of the mayan culture. We were espoused to be Gods in our own right because we could tap into the self with our other double spirited brethern. Oh yeah!

In this vein of pride in ones culture, I must declare my own version of war on another. It is fitting that it be another of the double spirited nature. For purposes of my own we shall call him merely, the Gaysian. He has greatly hurt my ego as one pointed out, because I am not used to having the smack put down on me. Usually I am the one who bitchily acts toward others. Unfortunately I got a taste of my own medicine. Well, it makes me stronger and hardened for the three years to come.

First I have to go all Mean Girls and as was suggested form a plan for the downfall of my adversary. Wow, its funny I can take this much time to think about it, but after three hours in the library I need a bit of a diversion. So here is the plan:

1. Destroy credibility of said person. Easier to do than imagined because I have that lovely ability of making myself seem ever the injured party. Thank god it is easy to turn compassion toward myself into anger toward another.

2. Begin as I have done already to form more bonds through traditional outtings that slowly but surely leave out those I feel shunned by. If done correctly, it will be so subtle that everyone will just think its natural only some people come and others do not.

3. Figure out a way to complain without seeming to be. This is hard for me because I am not the most subtle when I bitch. I hit people like a ton of bricks sometimes.

4. Take away those things which make him happy or at least fuck with the GSA as much as I can. Luckily I could care less about gay student organization and only one of the future members is my friend.

5. Find a way to kick him to the curb when it comes to our workout regime. May be difficult because other member, T, is way too nice to do it. I will have to think of a secondary plan to make this happen.

6. Use my closest friends to help. Should not be difficult as the straight ones adore me versus the other homos, and girls tend to trust me. So I can pick and choose who will be do my dirty work.

7. Use my sensibility in the matter and patience. Patience is a virtue and if I rush this, I will be screwed as it will backfire.

So this seems like a pretty good outline so far. I mean all I want are good friends, good times, and a few diversions from all the work school has to offer. Wow, I need to find a few new hobby or two. I have one hobby horse I would like to try, haha. J/K. Oh I guess addendum to this is also its just damn fun to mess with people for the sake of the stories I get to tell my friends from home and college. Some things never get old...


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