Friday, March 31, 2006


Who really has direction in their life at any one give time? I mean I am constantly lost, confused, or in a state of shock over random events. And that is just a normal day, haha. But seriously. Once you find your direction, what is it that gives the momentum to see that path through? I think I know. Success, dreams, family, anything that promises reward and satisfaction at the end of the day.

I think I have some sort of direction, and even a plan, just not the means to see it through yet. There are a few missing pieces to the puzzle, and until I find those, the plan will go forward, just at a very precarious pace. ie, I know what I want, just not how to get it from anyone. Plus all my best laid plans tend to have extreme variables that are out of my control. It is not a fact I like, because I enjoy control too much. Very few times do I give up that control, and when I do, it has not always led to the best situations.

So much has been said in the past two weeks, and so much has been done, left undone, that I do not know what really has come of it at all. Yet, I think I have a clearer picture than before, and as always, more questions pop up where answers were sought, and found. I guess its all a game, and unless I learn to manipulate it, I will be left behind, and that is not something I accept. Therefore, I think my direction is correct, and I will learn everything necessary to play it, beat it, and make it work for whatever is my ultimate goal...


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